thought of the week
"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!" Henry Ford
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affair recovery
"There is a crack, a crack in everything. It's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen
Finding out about your partner’s affair is one of the most devastating events in a person’s life. Everything you as a couple held as true has been destroyed with the revelation or discovery and it seems life as you know it will never be the same.
Attempting to teach communication skills to a couple who has been through an affair is like rushing to the scene of a car wreck with a first aid kit – on the right track but severely limited! Affairs and the issues that are behind them must be confronted head on with skill and specialist knowledge – the pain for both the betrayed and the one who had the affair is unlikely to go away until this happens.
Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth has surveyed thousands of couples who have been through an affair in their marriage/relationship over many years. She estimates about 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women cheat at some point in their marriage – a startling number and her latest survey of 1083 people in 2002 found that most marriages survive an affair. So if there has been an affair in your marriage – you are not alone and it is possible to save your marriage.
But How?
Catriona has travelled the affair recovery path and has learnt much along the way (see Catriona’s story). She very much uses this personal experience with empathy and compassion for both the person who had the affair and the betrayed. Combined with her professional counselling experience Catriona can help you find your own path to healing.
The first step to saving your relationship is to seek help. Additional damage to the relationship and to the individuals can be done in the early highly emotional time following the discovery of an affair. If there are additional considerations such as a child of the affair - the task of rebuilding can seem impossible. But there is hope for all relationships.
Catriona sees an affair in a relationship as the ultimate loss of connection but you can rebuild this connection with a number of clearly defined steps for both the one who had the affair and the betrayed partner. It takes time – there is no quick fix for the healing required after the revelation of an affair. While it may seem like an impossible task the greatest damage to a relationship also provides the greatest opportunity for growth and self discovery and the potential for a relationship that is better than it has ever been.
For more about recovering from an affair go to
www.move-beyond-the-affair.com
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